Reruns, part two

Originally posted July 15 2009

De-sexualisation

Having overheard a conversation about exposed bodies and sex on tv I began to wonder how that can be concidered sexual. I, personally, don't get turned on by half dressed people on posters by the busstop or a kiss on tv. I really think that the more expore to nudity we have the less of a deal it becomes. The censorship also has another side. It pushes morals on us which we don't really need. When did sex become such a big deal? Is the Victorian era still to blame? Why do men blush of guilt and women of innocence?

I suppose I'm jaded. I remember feeling almost as if sex wasn't real at all when I lived in the US. It was something you heard about, sometimes read about, but it wasn't really real. What I did had nothing incommon with the things not shown. Why is it that when the act itself is shown it's (almost) always concidered porn? People fake things for us to see all the time, why is it so bad to see actors fake sex? We don't get hurt by the fake words they speak so why would we by that?

Who is it that sets these rules of what's ok to see anyway? Do they have sex? And who are we protecting and why? When I took ethnology we went on a fieldtrip to see houses from different eras. Only in the modern ones were there spaces for privacy. Perhaps it's as simple as sex becomes a sin only when it's possible to do it in private. I find it hard to believe people did it less only because of the stable boy sleeping by the fire because the house only had four walls and no rooms. Were they imposed by the fake morals of today?

We are animals. We eat in front of people, something I would concider to be somewhat more barbaric than being touched by someone you love and that loves you back. Society's rules apply to all of us. Wether we like it or not. But the more foreplay I see the less sexual I feel. Because that's really all we see, isn't it? A constant foreplay and no climax. Maybe it's just the climax that's a problem, not the act. I don't know. But it's really starting to annoy me.

What's the difference between the postergirls and the real girls half naked on the street? That's what made the whole conversation overheard so ironic. The girls must have been, I don't know, in their teens, barely dressed at all, and they were going to complain about the buscube ads to the company for showing too much skin. Maybe it's their budding feminism speaking. But I don't see the exposed skin in public domains to have anything to do with what I do in my bed at night.

Then it's the whole whore and madonna complex. That's another chapter, really, but I think it connects to the desexualisation of the common space in all. The ones being watched are the whores and the ones watching are the madonnas. It's so easy to judge and say it's wrong. But in my opinion only an idiot would by a product because the girl is hot. (Oops, I forgot, the world is full of idiots...) If we base everything only on one aspect life gets dull and flat. But noone really wants the raw naked truth. The real sex has no place in advertisting and entertainment. Barely even in porn. It's sweat, unmatched underwear, untimed orgasms and someone always falls asleep too fast. It's not the well puttogether act it seems. I can see why that wouldn't sell as much as a jock strap. But, really, do we need the misconceptions and the mystery. Everyone gets to fuck eventually, even the poor children we're protecting from erections and premature ejactulations.

When reality tv is so hot, that's still blanked out. Hear me America? You're doing it wrong! You're not protecting anyone, if you did you wouldn't have the teenage pregnancy rate you do.

Hear me Sweden? You're doing it slightly wrong too. I don't want to have sex in cars, on picnic tables, in the café bathroom, and I don't want the filth or watching others doing it.

That's really the core isnt it, why we don't see it, they don't want us to feel excluded. We can't participate in something we're only capable of watching. Better to make us think we're in the middle of foreplay and then we go home and have real sex. Where's the paper towel?