How to put up the tree in Molly's house

Start out with locating the boxes. Avoid stepping on cats. Once found, pick them up and curse the tape that doesn't hold them together anymore. Try to get the cats out of the storage room without stepping on them or dropping the boxes. Take it easy down, to avoid death by Christmas.

Once downstairs, open the box with the tree and ponder why parts of it is white, then remember you got it cheap because of those white spots, also pick up a mirror to see if you have any grey hairs yet. Start putting the tree together. Remove cats from tree. Wonder why you have a fake tree when you live surrounded by evergreens, but slap that idea of going out in the forest away and remember how muddy you get and how heavy it is and keep in mind that you don't have a tree foot anyway. (Even though you do, somewhere) Remove cats from tree.

Move the catbed and the lamp to get the corner ready. Ignore evil stares from cat. Put a toy in the catbed in it's new place and speak in a silly voice to prove the new spot is even better. Put bandaids on your booboos. Put the catbed back, along with the lamp and give the cat treats so that he'll find it in his heart to forgive you. Wonder how you ever got the idea to move the ugly purple and black shagbed to make room for a pretty tree.

Move the palm plant to make new spot of the tree. Lug it over there. Remove other cat from tree. Begin to untangle lights. Remove cats from cord. Attempt to put the lights on and come to the same realization you did last year. You can't do it by yourself. Ask someone to help. Wait for response. Remove cat from tree. Ask for help again. Remove cat from tree. Get frustrated and pout. Laugh at cat wrestling with tree. Wait for help and remove cat from tree.

Explain the new location of the tree to said help. Sit around and wait for help to do everything but help. Hold lights for help and try not to be in the way. Make smalltalk. "Yay!" a little when it's done. Remove cats from box of ornaments.

Put the glitter up. Sigh when you don't have enough and try to distribute it as evenly as you can. Tie strings to all the ornaments as those have magically disappeared from last year. Giggle at the glittery snowflakes. Throw a cat toy to keep them occupied. Feel your mood raising by each ornament. Ask for help to put the topper on. Sit back and enjoy. Remove cat from tree.

Take a picture and try to upload it to your computer. Fail. Repeat. Fail. Repeat. Succeed. Post picture on blog and know that you think it's prettier than it actually is, because after all, it's your tree.