You know you live in the country when

- you know how many cars pass down your street a day.

- the church and it's affilliated buildings are the focalpoints.

- the priest calls you and asks why you never go to service and you feel it'd be awkward if you were honest and said you don't actually believe in God.

- the main forms of transportations are moped and tractor.

- you notice when the cashier in the store has new shoes.

- you shop at the dinky store because you don't feel like driving 12 mins to the supermarket.

- you feel bad for slamming your front door at 9 pm.

- your neighbour somehow feels he has the right to tell you need to shovel in straighter lines.

- your mailman asks you why you get so much mail from a particular company.

- the kiosk attendant automatically puts up what you usually buy on the counter.

- you check the window of the pizzeria owner's apartment through yours to see if they're open.

- everyone plays football because there's nothing better to do.

- the main weekend activity is car bingo.

- people ask you what kind of dogs you have when you take your cats for a leashed walk.

- your old classmates all live on the same street as you.

- a trip to Ibiza is considered to be educational as to what's going on in the world.

- the local paper's headline is "Graffiti on train" or "Man falls off bike".

- the library is only open twice a week, closed all summer.

- you can tell it's 5 pm because the streets are empty and you smell cooking.

- you see more sweatpants than dresses.

- you know which kid belongs in which house by the sound of their voices.

- people still shake their heads in wonder about the family with seven kids. The kids are now in their 50s.

- you're an outcast if you don't go to the Christmas fair.

- you wave at cars, not people.

- there are no buses on Sundays. Or holidays.

- you give directions such as "At the Holmgren farm, turn left towards the mill, at Svensson's flowery mailbox turn left again, then straight ahead past the Håkansson place".

- the cows wake you up every morning.

- most people wake up around the time you go to bed.

- you panic when you have to drive in a city.

- you can't crack jokes about anything that's happened in the past 20 years further away than 5 km from the store.

- people laugh at your clothes, then wear the same thing five years later.

- everyone knows who's sleeping with who.

- it's not called "sleeping with", it's called "you know".

- people avoid you like the plague when someone you know has died, but walk up and pat your shoulder at the cemetary.

- you can forget to lock your back door for a week and nothing happens.

- you've never been to the restaurant because it's only open from noon til 4 pm.

- if you have dark hair and eyes people often ask you where you're really from and look confused when you say "Stockholm" and then ask "Yes, but originally"

- you don't count unless your family goes back at least four generations in the same place.

- people mispronounce the word "originally".

- people say "det lade sardin på stämningen" instead of "det lade sorti på stämningen" and are utterly serious.

- you're considered exotic because you can tell the difference between a papaya and a coconut.

- you can ask any random person for your phonenumber in case you forgot it.

- there's no cellphone reception except for one provider.

- everything's done "for the community", may it be donating money to Haiti (yes, they just realised it happened) or going the speedlimit past the daycare.

- it's all really just a small collection of houses among trees and fields.

- you feel compelled to write a list like this.